Touch
by Kelsey
Summary: After Tara is horribly attacked, how do she and the others cope? WARNING: Rape


* * *

****

Touch

by

Kelsey

* * *

Disclaimer: Joss's. Not mine. Just playing.

Warning: Rape, semi-graphic

Author's Note: Thankfully, I am utterly inexperienced in how the proceedings after a rape occur. So, I've made them up. Please don't fault me if they're inaccurate.

Summary: After a terrible attack on Tara, how do she and all the people around her deal? Season 6, immediately pre-"Entropy".

Rating: R

* * *

"TARA!!" Willow sat up from a sound sleep, sweat dripping off her face, her breath coming rapidly.

Buffy's footsteps thumped quickly down the hall, and she threw the door open and rushed to her friend's side. "What's wrong?"

Willow couldn't speak for a moment, gasping.

"Will. What's wrong?" Buffy's voice was firm, enough so that the witch gathered herself and forced her voice to respond.

"Tara. Something's wrong with Tara." There was panic laced thickly through her words. She started to mutter the words of a protection spell.

Buffy put a hand on Willow's shoulder, calmer now that there was no obvious demonic threat. "Whoa. Calm down, it was just a dream."

Willow shook her head frantically and climbed out of bed. "No. Buffy, she's in trouble!" She clenched her fists, still muttering under her breath in a language the Slayer couldn't follow.

The Slayer frowned, having seen the connection the witches shared, but still unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

Willow nodded as she pulled on her clothes. "Pain." She buttoned her pants and then looked over at her friend, her face crumpling. "Buffy, she's in pain." A sob escaped her and her protection spell chant faltered.

A little more Slayer-like in her focus, Buffy grabbed Willow's shoulders. "Okay. Can you give me an idea where to look?"

Willow nodded. "I think I can track her."

Buffy shook her head emphatically, already grabbing a few pieces of clothes from Willow's closet that would fit her and throwing them on. "No. If Tara's in trouble, you're not going running into it."

A shock of pain ran through Willow's body and she grabbed her abdomen, eyes tearing both from the physical and emotional pain. "Buffy, please," she pleaded. "We don't have time to argue, and you can't find her on your own."

The Slayer held her friend's gaze for a moment, then nodded. "Okay." Seeing her determination, she stepped out of the way and let the witch dash from the house. "DAWN! We're going out!" She didn't wait for an answer before she followed the witch.

Willow ran out the door, adrenaline, the pain of her lover and magick fueling her body. The Slayer kept up easily, but was impressed by the speed at which her best friend moved.

A faint cry rose from around the corner as they neared the Bronze, and Buffy put on a burst of speed, looking over to the witch for confirmation that it was Tara crying out. Willow, nodded, panting hard and her face red, but nonetheless managed to add speed to her sprint, too. 

The voice was maybe two short blocks away, and they covered them quickly, but just as Buffy was about to dash into the alley, there came a shriek of pain so terrible that she shivered at the sound. She didn't stop running, though, even as Willow fell behind, stumbling with the pain.

"Stop!" She skidded to a halt in the mouth of the alley, her eyes quickly taking in the scene of horror that faced her. "Get away from her!"

There, lying on the ground with a strange man on top of her, lay the missing witch, unconscious.

~~~~~~~

Buffy felt like she wanted to throw up as she took in the situation, but she pulled the Slayer mask down quickly and stepped forward. "Get off of her," she ordered in a dark tone. "And do it carefully." Pulling a knife from her waistband, she held it to the man's throat as he pulled away from Tara's limp body. She twitched a little, but didn't wake up.

The man stood, hands in the air as Buffy pushed him roughly against the wall and took a swing at him. It impacted cleanly on his nose and blood gushed from the broken mess. "Ow!"

Grimly, Buffy stepped back, keeping an eye on him. "You deserved a lot more." Turning, she found Willow bent over her ex-lover, caressing her cheeks softly. 

"Tara?"

Buffy dragged the man over towards the two witches and held him by the hair while she knelt next to her best friend. Reaching out her hand, she took the witch's pulse, and nodded. "It's strong, Will. I'll keep an eye on her and" she narrowed her eyes and pressed the blade of the knife into the man's neck just a little "_him_ while you go call 911."

Willow hesitated, then nodded and got up. She ran from the alley and towards the Bronze, only a block away, as Buffy ignored the man she had held at knifepoint only moments earlier, and ran her hands over Tara's body, checking for broken bones.

~~~~~~~

Panicked, Willow ran towards the doors of the club. The guy collecting the cover looked at her and then at the bouncer, and he started over. "Please!" She pleaded. "I need to call 911, someone was attacked in an alley out there!" She pointed back in the direction she'd come from.

The panic in her voice convinced the men, and she ran inside, straight to the phones. Pressing the buttons, she waited impatiently for the dispatcher to answer.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My-my girlfriend," Willow forced out. "She was attacked. And the man that did it is still there."

"Okay. Can you tell me where you are?"

"At the Bronze. She's in an alley, about a block south of here."

"I assume there's someone else there with her and her attacker?"

"My friend. We found her." Willow's throat was tight in panic. Buffy had said Tara's pulse was strong, but what if it didn't stay that way?

"Okay. Now, I need you to try and stay calm while you answer some questions, okay?"

The witch took a deep breath and nodded to herself. "Okay."

"Good. Now, you said she was attacked. Can you explain any more?"

"She was r-r-raped." Willow could barely make it out.

"Is she conscious?"

"N-no."

"Is she breathing?"

"Yes."

"Did you take her pulse?"

"My friend did. She's trained for medical stuff, she said it was good. Is the ambulance on it's way?" Willow was reverting to her nervous babbling.

The woman on the other end of the phone was unflappably calm. "Yes. That's good. Now, did you see her injuries?"

Willow wondered if feeling them qualified, and decided it did. "He hit her. In the stomach. Slapped her across the face. And then he r-raped her."

"Was there obvious bleeding?"

Willow felt like she was going to fall over, the nervous energy zinging through her body. "There was-was blood on the ground. Between her legs." Sirens could be faintly heard in the background, and she almost ran without saying anything. "I can hear sirens. I need to go and show them where she is!"

"Okay. I'm going to hang up now, they can take care of your girlfriend, okay?"

"Okay." The witch put the phone back in the cradle and took off out the door.

~~~~~~~

The man sitting across from her was about to make a move, Buffy knew. She also knew it looked like she had made a fatal mistake in ignoring him, but with her Slayer senses tuned in at full power, she felt the movement before she ever would have seen it.

He leapt at her back, and she elbowed him strongly in the gut as she stood. Falling over, he made a grab for her knife, and she stomped on his wrist, hearing a bone break. He cried out, and Buffy turned her attention from Tara for a moment, just long enough to pull him to his feet and throw him into the corner of the dead-end alley. "Sit there quietly until the police get here and I might let you live," she told him grimly. 

He sat.

The puddle of blood on the ground between Tara's legs had been barely noticeable when they'd gotten there, but as soon as the man had pulled away, it had started to grow, and it was large enough now that Buffy was getting worried. Reaching into the pockets of the pants she'd borrowed from Willow, she found a pad in one. Ripping the wrapper from it, she pulled Tara's skirt up, hoping she'd forgive her, and pressed it to the witch's bare and bleeding crotch. If the injuries were internal, as they probably were, this wouldn't do much, but it was all she _could_ do.

Sirens reached her ears from the distance, and a few moments later, the quick taps of Willow's footfalls. The redhead dashed into the alley and skidded to a halt. "They're coming."

Buffy nodded. "I hear." She glanced from one witch to the other, then to the man lying sulking in the corner of the alley. She knew Willow was dying to get her hands on Tara and reassure herself that the witch was still alive, but the man needed to be watched by a Slayer. "Can you direct them in, Will?"

The witch nodded and ran towards the opening of the alley just as the sirens drew near. "Over here!" She waved her arms and jumped a little to make sure they saw her in the dark.

The two police cars pulled over and the officers ran from them, weapons pulled. "Is he still here, ma'am?"

Willow nodded and pointed down the alley. "In there. Buffy's got him in the corner."

Three of the officers just nodded, no visible reaction, but the fourth, an older gentleman, sighed and rolled his eyes. "Another Summers' one?"

Buffy didn't turn a lot of criminals in to the cops, most of her targets being other than human, but she did end up with a few every year. By now, the older cops had stopped questioning how she ran into so many. The cases were always airtight, so they didn't complain.

The officers jogged into the alley, and Buffy raised her head. "Hello, gentlemen. He's over there." She nodded to the corner where the man stood now, cradling one arm against his body. "He raped my friend and I was forced to hit him to get him off her." She lied smoothly. "Then he tried to get away, and I'm afraid he broke his wrist in that struggle." 

The younger officers looked skeptical, and one of them spoke. "You and he got into an altercation, ma'am?"

Buffy shrugged and replied, dead-pan. "I took a lot of self-defense training."

The man opened his mouth to continue, but the older officer who knew Buffy shushed him and shook his head. The younger man looked like he wanted to argue, but another look made him keep his mouth shut.

The police officers grabbed the man roughly and pulled him away, reading him his rights as they went. "But what about my wrist?" He whined, and Buffy wished with all her heart that she could slug him again.

One of the officers sighed. "We'll take you to the emergency room before we book you. Get in the car."

The ambulance pulled up just as the cops were leaving, and two burly young medics ran into the alley carrying a stretcher. "This the rape victim?"

Willow nodded, and put her hand on Tara's cheek. "Yeah. Her name's Tara Maclay. Buffy and I found her, about ten minutes ago. She hasn't woken up since we got here."

The female medic gave her an encouraging smile. "Okay. And you are?"

"Her girlfriend. Willow Rosenberg."

The medics turned their attention to Tara, running their hands over her limbs to check for breaks, and the fitting a collar to her neck. They placed more padding over the now-soaked pad Buffy had covered her bleeding crotch with, and lifted her onto the stretcher.

"Okay, Miss Rosenberg. We're going to take your girlfriend to Sunnydale Memorial, alright? You two can ride with us if you want."

Willow nodded quickly, and followed them as they rolled the stretcher back to the ambulance. She piled into the ambulance behind them, and held her hand out to Buffy.

They were halfway to the hospital when Tara's eyelids flickered. Willow took her hand and bent over her anxiously. "Tara? Baby, can you hear me?"

Tara groaned, and the medic at her side, the woman, waited with Willow.

"Tara? Please baby, wake up."

The blond witch's eyes flickered again, and then opened. She groaned in pain and tried to turn her head. "Willow?"

Willow relaxed a little. "Yeah, baby, I'm here."

"Why can't I move my head?" Willow could hear a little panic entering her ex-girlfriend's voice.

Willow stroked her arm softly. "Shush. It's okay, it's just the collar that the medics put on you."

Tara tensed, as if the memories were coming back to her. "Oh, God. Is he gone? Is he gone, Willow?"

"Yeah, he's gone." It was Buffy that spoke this time.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah, it's me. And he's gone. The police have him."

Tara closed her eyes and exhaled with relief. "Okay."

The medic leaned over a little so that Tara could see her face. "Miss Maclay? I'm Trish. Can you tell me where it hurts?"

"My stomach. He punched me. And..." she gestured downwards, blushing a little.

"Okay. Nothing else?"

Tara tried to shake her head, then reached up to grab at the collar. "Can you take this off, please?"

Trish smiled sympathetically. "Sorry, honey. We gotta let the ER docs see you and make sure you haven't injured your spinal cord, first."

Tara let her arm fall back down. She was silent the rest of the ride.

~~~~~~~~~

As Trish and the male medic rolled Tara's stretcher into the ER, Willow jogged alongside it. Buffy broke off from them at the lobby, heading for the phone, and Willow nodded in understanding.

When they reached the doors of the trauma room, someone tried to push Willow back. "Miss, you can't come in here."

Tara objected. "No! Please, let her come?"

The nurse hesitated, then nodded and let Willow past. She took her place by Tara's head, holding her hand, as the doctors and nurses bustled around them, taking Tara's blood pressure, checking her pupils and pulse and undressing her.

Tara tensed so dramatically every time the male doctor came near her that Willow finally had to say something. "Excuse me? Isn't there a female doctor who could do this?"

The doctor glanced over his shoulder at one of the nurses. "Check and see if Dr. Keller is available." The nurse hurried away.

He smiled at Willow and Tara. "I know this is uncomfortable, and we'll try to replace me as soon as possible, but you need immediate medical attention. Just hold onto your friend, okay?"

Tara squeezed Willow's hand, hard, and let the doctor come close enough to touch her neck, then remove the neck collar. He glanced at the door as it swung open, and a young female doctor walked in. He smiled once more at the girls, then left.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Keller. It looks like Dr. Herman looked you over, mostly, right?"

Tara nodded. "Yeah."

Dr. Keller nodded back, and smiled. "Okay, well, then we get to get started with the really uncomfortable part!" She tried to joke, and Tara smiled weakly. "Do you want your friend in here?" The doctor asked.

Tara nodded again. "Yes. She st-stays, please."

The doctor nodded, and removed the sterile cotton the medics had used and the pad Buffy had used, then waited for a moment. Willow couldn't see what was happening, but Tara closed her eyes against the pain as the doctor started to touch her gently.

A moment later, she sat up and reached for a bottle and a syringe, speaking as she did so. "Okay. So, the good news is that while you've obviously bled pretty heavily, the arteries that are bleeding aren't all that major. The bad news is that you need a few stitches."

Tara winced as the doctor injected the anesthetic and then sat back. "While I'm waiting for that to take effect, I need to take a rape kit, okay?"

The witch nodded, and the doctor pulled a couple of swabs out of her kit. After she used them, she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. "This is probably going to be hard to talk about, Tara. But I need to know, okay?"

Tara nodded, and Willow, who'd been standing silently beside her, squeezed her hand. "You can do it, baby."

Tara locked her eyes on Willow's, and held her there with her gaze as the doctor started to ask the questions.

"Did someone force you to have sex against your will?"

Tara's voice was soft and small, and she looked away from Willow, as though ashamed. "Yes."

"Did he penetrate you in any way?" 

Willow tugged gently on Tara's chin to bring her lover's face back up to hers. She smiled softly, despite her anger at the man who'd attacked Tara, trying to show her that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Tara's responses grew a little more confident.

"Yes."

"Did he use his penis? If so, did he use a condom?"

"Y-yes, and no."

"Did he ejaculate inside of you?"

"N-no. B-buffy pulled him o-off too f-fast."

"Did he force you to perform any other sex acts with him? Oral or anal sex?"

"No."

"Did he threaten you with a gun or knife or other weapon?"

"N-no. He j-just punched m-me."

Willow's heart was breaking to hear her lover's stutter come back, and she squeezed Tara's hand reassuringly. The doctor continued.

"Where?"

"My stomach." Tara touched her abdomen gently. "And my face." She gestured at the ugly bruise that was already visible across her left cheekbone.

The doctor nodded. "Okay. I'm going to stitch you up and give you some phone numbers and instructions and then we can see about letting you go home, okay?"

Tara nodded, and the doctor worked silently as Willow held her lover's hand, being careful not to venture into her body space in case she couldn't deal with that. She knew that rape victims usually had issues with people being too close after the attack, but she didn't know if it would pertain to her and Tara, or not. So far, the witch had shown the expected shyness around other people, but no reservations towards Willow. Still, she didn't want to push anything. "What about her loss of consciousness?" The witch desperately wanted Tara home, but she didn't want to put her in any more danger.

Dr. Keller looked up. "There was no visible head injury. I think she just passed out. We'll need you to keep an eye on her, but I think she's okay."

Tara nodded. "I j-just p-panicked, Willow."

Frowning a little, not entirely convinced, Willow nodded. "Okay." She had reservations, but if the doctor thought it was okay, then she didn't want to keep Tara in the hospital any longer than necessary.

The doctor put in her last stitch and smiled up at Tara. "Okay, honey, all done. I'm gonna get you the aftercare instructions for those stitches, okay? Then we'll get you out of here."

The witch didn't speak, but she managed a weak smile.

"There's just one more thing we need to talk about, though."

Willow tore her gaze away from Tara's face and turned towards the doctor, brow furrowing in concern.

"We need to talk about the possibility of pregnancy."

~~~~~~~~

The phone rang and rang and Buffy was just about give up when the receiver finally clicked and Dawn's sleepy voice picked up. "Hello?"

"Dawn." The younger Summers instantly picked up on the tension in her sister's voice. The Slayer running out in the middle of the night wasn't an everyday occurrence, but it wasn't abnormal, either, and until now, Dawn hadn't been too worried. 

"What's wrong?"

"Tara was attacked. We're at the hospital."

"Oh god. Is she okay?"

"I don't know. Willow's with her."

"Did you kill it?" The anger in Dawn's voice was palpable.

Buffy hesitated. "He was human. The cops have him."

"Human." Dawn sounded both surprised and disappointed, then something came to her, and her voice filled with dread. "Buffy... he didn't _hurt_ her hurt her, did he?"

The Slayer wondered briefly if she could lie to Dawn, let her sister preserve the innocence of childhood at least about this, but she knew someone would tell her and it would only hurt her more if it wasn't Buffy. "Yeah. He did."

Dawn sucked in a breath, hard. "God..." She was silent for a moment, then her voice came back, determined. "I'm coming there."

"No."

"Buffy, I can drive. I'll be fine in the car."

The Slayer paused, realizing something that she hadn't thought of, and reluctantly agreed. "Yeah, I guess we're going to need it to bring her home." She paused. "I'll call you when she's released, okay?"

"No. I'm coming now."

"Dawn, it's not that I don't want you here. Or even that she doesn't want you here. But I don't think we can crowd her right now, okay?"

There was a pause and a sigh. "Yeah, okay. Call me as soon as you're ready?"

"Okay." Buffy didn't doubt that Tara would be back at the Summers' house when she left the hospital. It looked like she and Willow had put aside their differences until the witch was in a better place, and she couldn't see either of them wanting to leave the other's side for a while.

"Should I tell Xander?"

"I think this is Tara's story to tell. When she's ready."

"Okay. I'll keep it quiet. But he's going to figure out something's going on pretty fast. Are you sure it wouldn't be easier if he already knew?"

Buffy sighed. "Maybe it would. But it's still Tara's decision. I had to tell you, because we'll probably come back to the house... and besides, I think she would want you to know. But she's not as close to Xander, I don't know what she wants to tell him."

"Yeah, alright. Call me as soon as you can, okay?"

"I will. Try to get some sleep."

She snorted. "Yeah, right." There was a moment of silence. Then, "later," and Dawn hung up the phone.

Buffy slowly returned the phone to its cradle and stepped away, starting to process what had happened that night fully for the first time.

~~~~~~~~

Tara shuddered, and Willow wanted desperately to wrap her arms around her, but was constrained by the information in her head telling her never to initiate physical contact with a rape victim. Luckily, just then, the witch looked up at her ex-lover with a plea obvious in her eyes, and Willow surrendered, gladly sitting down on the edge of the bed and gathering Tara in her arms.

The blond buried her head in Willow's shoulder and shook for a long moment while the doctor waited for her to get herself together, a sympathetic smile on her face. Finally, she turned just a little, keeping herself firmly in the circle of Willow's arms but looking out enough to face Dr. Keller.

"Okay."

The doctor's face was earnest and caring as she replied, trying to be honest. "Well, the chances really aren't that great, considering he didn't ejaculate inside you. But he didn't use a condom, so that means it's a possibility, along with the possibility you could have caught an STD."

Willow replied for her lover, who looked too overwhelmed to answer. "So, what do we do?"

The doctor shrugged. "For the STD's, we're running the blood we took when she came in. It'll need to be done again in six months, but for now, there's not much else we can do. For the possibility of pregnancy, you have some choices.

"There's a pill I can give you that will prevent any possible pregnancy from occurring. But side effects are common, and usually include violent nausea. You can also choose to wait, and we can test you in four weeks to see if you're pregnant. At that point, you could decide what to do with it."

Tara shook her head. "I c-can't have a b-baby. And I c-couldn't abor-bort it."

"So you want me to give you the pills?"

She nodded.

"Okay. I need you to read and sign this, and I'll see about getting them and some discharge papers for you while I'm at it." She smiled gently once more, and left the room.

There was a light knock on the door a few moments later, and they looked up to see Buffy's face in the door, smiling uncertainly. She cracked the door, but didn't step inside. "Can I come in?"

Tara nodded. "P-please." Her stutter hadn't left since she'd been in the hospital, Willow noticed, despite its usual lack of presence these days.

Buffy came inside and closed the door behind her, not moving much beyond that. "I heard you were being released."

She nodded. "Th-the doctor is g-getting some stuff, and th-then I can g-go."

"Okay. Dawn's going to drive the car over, she'll bring some clothes for you, okay?"

Tara nodded, and picked absently at her hospital gown, looking down. "D-does she k-know?"

Buffy glanced briefly at the floor, then returned her gaze to the witch. "Yeah. I had to tell her, and I didn't think you would mind."

Tara shook her head emphatically. "I d-don't! I j-just wanted to k-know what she knew before sh-she saw m-me."

Buffy smiled sadly at the stutter in her friend's voice that she hadn't heard in close to two years. "Yeah, she knows." She stood in the silence for a moment, then backed away to the door. "I'm gonna go call her back and then wait for her in the lobby, okay?"

Tara nodded. "Th-thank you."

Buffy grinned brilliantly, trying not to think about what she was being thanked for. "Hey, anything for my friends." She closed the door behind her before Tara could respond.

~~~~~~~~~~

The witch swallowed the pills the nurse handed her, and Dr. Keller poked her head in just as the nurse was leaving. "Hey. I brought your discharge papers," she handed them to Tara, "and then after you sign them, you probably want to get home before those pills start making you sick." She gave a sympathetic grimace.

Tara signed the papers with a shaky hand and gave them back. Putting her hands on the bed, she pushed herself to the edge, Willow hovering over her. Hesitantly she stood up and swayed a little, and the redhead grabbed her. Tara leaned on her gratefully, and Willow frowned in concern. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Just been s-sitting for a long time, got a l-little head rush." She settled herself into the wheelchair that the nurse offered, and the witch held her lover's hand as she was pushed slowly to the lobby.

Buffy and Dawn were waiting in the plastic chairs, and rose instantly when they saw the witches. Dawn quite obviously wanted to run over and assure herself that Tara was okay, physically at least, but she clamped her feet in position and resisted. "Tara!"

The witch smiled and opened her arms in a clear invitation, which Dawn flew into. "I'm okay, Dawnie."

Dawn's face was serious, and Willow knew she didn't believe her, but she nodded. "Okay." The teenager gestured towards the doors. "I brought the car. We can get you home now, if you're ready to go."

Tara nodded, and Willow held up the bag of ointments, dressings and pills her lover had been given. She hadn't pointed out that everything except the pills were probably already in the Summers' demon-fighting first aid arsenal. She hadn't thought the doctor would really understand.

The nurse handed the wheelchair over to an orderly, and they made their way out to the car. Buffy held the door open as Willow helped her lover inside, then went around and sat down. Dawn piled into the driver's seat and the Slayer took shotgun. While most people would probably have preferred that the twenty-one year old do the driving, Willow knew about Buffy's issues with cars. Dawn was fairly inexperienced, but already a much better driver than the Slayer.

The teenager also apparently felt the need to fill the silence on the way home. Willow held Tara in her arms as best as the seatbelts would allow and listened to her chatter.

"So, I was all worried that somebody would pull me over and then they would realize I don't have a license, only a permit, and then I'd get into trouble, but then I realized that maybe if I told them I was going to see someone in the emergency room they wouldn't mind. Do you think they would mind? I don't know. But it's all good now, because you have a license, even if you are a really bad driver..." Willow tuned out after catching Buffy's indignant "hey!" and reflected briefly on the fact that she now apparently had competition for world's longest babble.

When they arrived at the Summers' home, Dawn parked the car slowly and pain-stakingly, but at least she was being careful. Willow had wondered more than a few times if Buffy's problem with cars was the fact that there was a certain amount of finesse involved, instead of just brute strength. At last, when the teenager was satisfied with her parking job, she pulled on the brake and turned off the ignition. "We're home!" She announced cheerfully.

Tara hadn't questioned where they were going when they'd left the hospital, but now Willow thought she saw relief flit quickly across her lover's face. Instantly, she felt horrible, having let Tara entertain the thought for even a moment that they might take her back to the dorms and leave her alone after what she'd been through. "Hey," she whispered, and the witch turned to look at her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you we were bringing you back here. I thought you knew. But I shouldn't assume, cause you know what they say about that-" she cut off abruptly, realizing from the patient smile on her ex-lover's face that she'd re-entered the babble competition. "Sorry."

"Nothing to b-be sorry about." Tara reached up and caressed Willow's cheek briefly, then turned her attention back to Buffy and Dawn, who were waiting outside the car for their instructions. "C-could you may-maybe go ch-check and make s-sure there aren't any w-weapons or anything ly-lying around?" Usually, they kept the house pretty neat, but it wasn't uncommon to have to step over crossbows and swords in the immediate wake of a crisis.

"There aren't-" Dawn cut herself off as she realized Tara wanted them gone, and grabbed Buffy's arm just as the Slayer was about to say something. Shushing her as discreetly as possible, she dragged her confused sister into the house.

"You gonna be okay? You don't want me to get Buffy to carry you?" Willow asked worriedly.

Tara shook her head, letting her long blond locks fall around her face in a gesture of shyness Willow hadn't seen since their freshman year. "I d-don't think I c-could let anyone but you t-touch me right now." Willow noticed that the stutter was dissipating now that other people weren't around, and she nodded and went around to open Tara's door.

"You sure? You had that head-rushy thing earlier, and all."

Tara took her hand and pulled herself out of the car, swaying a little before steadying herself. "I'm s-sure. See? All standing by myself."

"But you're not in too much pain?"

Tara smiled wryly. "Later, I hear. But right now everything's pretty much numb." She hissed as she took a little step, and Willow steadied her. "Except the b-bruise across my r-ribs, I guess."

"Okay. Little steps, okay, baby?"

The blond nodded, and they slowly made their way to the Summers' front door.

As they neared the door, Willow turned to her lover. "Do you want to rest on the couch? Maybe sleep there? Or do you want to go straight up to our room?"

Tara smiled, and Willow frowned in confusion. "What?"

"You s-said our r-room."

Willow smiled back, gently. "It's always our room, baby." A cloud passed over her face. "But it can be just your room, if you want. I know we're still kinda technically broken up and all..."

Tara shook her head. "No. Later. L-later we can talk about th-this. Just d-don't do any magick, okay?"

Willow nodded. "I promise." She opened the door with one hand, holding Tara gently around the waist with the other. "So, living room or bedroom?"

"Bedroom."

Buffy and Dawn carefully stayed out of the way as the witches tackled the stairs and then headed to their room. Willow helped her lover strip down and then gave her a pair of loose pajamas to wear and tucked her into bed. "Do you think you can sleep? Or should I get you a book or something?"

Tara shook her head. "C-can you just hold me?"

Willow melted instantly. "Of course, baby." She shed her clothes quickly, pulled on a long nightshirt and moved under the covers, snuggling up to the blond. "This good?"

Tara's voice took on a broken quality and Willow's heart ached. "I don't think I'll be good for a while." She paused. "But it's better in your arms."

The redhead leaned over and kissed her lover's forehead. "Try to sleep, baby."

Tara wiggled a little, trying to get closer without hurting her ribs. "Kay."

~~~~~~~~~

Buffy sat on the couch, trying not to let her anger at Tara's situation come out towards her sister, who was currently pacing back and forth as far as their moderately-sized living room would allow.

Dawn was muttering to herself, and Buffy's slayer hearing caught most of it. The teenager was ranting, every word full of anger and confusion and hurt at not being about to do anything about her surrogate mother/sister-figure's situation.

Buffy's tone gentled as she felt her sister's pain. "Dawnie, come and sit down."

"Don't wanna."

"Please?"

Reluctantly she came, and let herself be wrapped in Buffy's arms. "Why? Why the hell does it have to be Tara? "

The Slayer frowned, and answered softly. "I really don't know. I wish I did."

"She's the best frickin' person in the world! She's gentle and kind and beautiful and loving and she'd never hurt anybody and everybody loves her and why the hell does it have to be her! Me! I've done bad things! It could be me! Or anybody else! I know I shouldn't wish it was somebody else, because nobody deserves that, but-"

Buffy reached out a hand and pressed it gently across her sister's lips. Dawn quieted. "I'm just as confused as you are," she admitted. "I don't know why anybody would do that to anyone. And I wish I did, because maybe then I could stop it."

Dawn went to speak, but she shook her head slightly and continued, reaching up a hand to stroke Dawn's hair. "As for wishing it was someone else, everybody does that. Every time something bad happens to someone they know, they wish it was someone else. It doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human." She clutched Dawn to her side, and kissed her forehead. "Never, ever, think it should be you. Nobody deserves that."

They sat in silence for long moments as the younger Summers' breathing slowed and she relaxed into her sister's embrace. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"What do we do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everything."

The Slayer thought for a moment. "Well, I think we help Tara as best as we can. We be there for her, and remember that part of being there is giving her space if she needs it. We help out Will, get her schoolwork and maybe fix them food when they need it. You can drive them to Tara's doctor appointments. Willow, Tara and I probably testify against this guy. And we just go on, as best as we can."

"We just let the cops deal with him?"

Buffy sighed. "Yeah," she said resignedly. "I think we do."

"I want to put my foot through his face."

"I know the feeling."

~~~~~~~~~

Willow woke to a groan from the other side of the bed. The events of the night rushing back to her, she instantly awoke and turned to face her lover. "Tara? Baby?"

"I'm okay. J-just a little sore."

"You're not sick?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I really j-just leaned on my ribs wrong, that's all."

Willow nodded. "Okay. Can I get you anything?"

"No. Go back to sleep."

"Will you try to, too?"

Tara opened her mouth to tell Willow that she didn't think she'd be getting any sleep that night, but then closed it abruptly. "Yeah."

The redhead narrowed her eyes. "Have you slept at all?" She asked.

Tara looked away. "Will, just get some rest, okay?" Now that her concern for her lover's health was in the forefront, her stutter disappeared.

Willow wrapped her arms around the blonde and snuggled her head down onto Tara's shoulder the way she used to love. "I'm okay."

Tara sighed, knowing it was useless to argue. "Okay. But you're not going to school tomorrow if you stay up all night."

Willow didn't hesitate. "Done. I'm all kinds of here with you tomorrow."

The blonde was too tired to argue. "Okay." She gestured towards the bedside table. "Can you hand me the water glass?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the door woke the two Summers sisters. Neither of them had felt like retiring to their beds the night before, and when Dawn had fallen asleep in her arms at five am, Buffy had simply pulled a blanket over them, laid her own head down and crashed out. Now, the Slayer raised her head and looked blearily around at their living room, trying to orient herself.

Gently, she moved the sleeping teenager off her lap and onto the warm spot on the couch. Dawn didn't stir. With a fond glance at her, Buffy padded towards the door, brushed her hair down against her head with her hands and opened it. "Hello?"

"Miss Summers?"

She nodded to the police officers who were standing outside her door, one male and one female. "That's me."

"I talked to you last night," the man offered, and she realized he did look vaguely familiar.

"Yeah, I remember you. Tara's still asleep, I think."

He nodded. "I hate to ask this of you, but do you think you could wake her up? We're going to need her statement."

Buffy paused, considering. She didn't want to wake the Wicca if she was finally sleeping-- her Slayer hearing had caught all the low mumbling of the two witches talking during the night, but she really didn't want the bastard who'd done this to go free. With a sigh, she nodded. "I'll go get her." She swept her arm in a gesture of welcome and stepped back.

The officers came inside and Buffy closed the door behind them. Walking into the living room, she shook her sister slightly. "Dawn."

The teenager moaned and rolled over. "G'way."

"Dawn."

"What?!" Then she stilled and seemed to remember the night before. "Oh god, Buffy."

Buffy leaned over and stroked her sister's hair gently, waiting for her to become more aware.

"That wasn't just a dream, was it?"

The Slayer shook her head gently. "I'm sorry. I really wish it was. But there's a couple of cops here to take Tara's statement now, so I need to wake up the Wicca duo and then I think you and me need to clear out of here while they talk."

Dawn nodded somberly and sat up. "I'll go change. See you in five?"

"Yeah." The Slayer turned to the police officers, who had been watching the exchange politely from the doorway. "Please, have a seat. I'll get Tara." They sat, and she walked slowly up the stairs.

Her soft knock on the door elicited a strangled cry, and Buffy felt horrible for having startled Tara, as unavoidable as it might have been. Willow's soft voice called out. "Just a minute!"

"Yeah. Okay." The Slayer waited as her friend talked Tara down from her panic, and then finally came to the door. "Sorry about that, Will."

Willow smiled sadly. "I think she's going to startle around sudden noises for quite a while. Nothing you can do about it."

"I am sorry, though." Buffy paused. "There's a couple of cops downstairs, waiting. They said they need a statement from her."

Willow's brow furrowed. "She's in a lot of pain, Buffy."

"Will, I wish she didn't have to. But I talked to one of them last night, and they said they can't keep him locked up that long without her statement."

The redhead nodded. "Okay. We'll be down as soon as we can, okay?"

"Yeah. Dawn and I are gonna clear out as soon as you guys come down, but I'll be here if Tara needs any help, okay?"

"Thanks." Willow disappeared back around the door again, and Buffy headed for the bathroom.

After she'd splashed some water on her face and brushed her hair down quickly, she opened the door to find Dawn waiting her turn. "They getting up yet?" She asked her younger sister.

Dawn nodded, looking pained. "I think it's gonna take them a while to get anywhere." She pushed past Buffy and closed the door in the Slayer's face. Buffy's heart ached both for Tara, who was in so much physical and emotional pain, and for her sister, who'd already had so much of her innocence stripped away, and now was losing another little piece.

The Slayer turned to find the witches about to tackle the staircase. Careful to keep her distance, she smiled. "Do you guys need any help?"

Tara made a brave attempt at a smile back, and shook her head. "Th-thanks, Buffy. We m-made it this far."

"Okay." Moving slowly, Buffy walked around the two witches and headed down the stairs, stopping at the bottom. "Let me know if you do." She headed for the kitchen, planning to pick up something for her and Dawn to eat, or at least some money so that they could buy something.

A little cry came from the living room, and Buffy rushed back. Tara stood, her face tight with pain, on the first step of the staircase, Willow holding her. The police officers had both risen, but made no move to get closer. "We can come upstairs, ma'am," the woman offered.

Tara shook her head. "N-no. I don't think..." she trailed off, not sure how to put her fear into words. Their bedroom was a safe place, and she didn't want it invaded by the fear that was sure to accompany this interview.

Willow caught sight of the Slayer, and looked at Tara, who had also seen her. The blond witch nodded slightly, and Willow turned her gaze back. "Buffy?"

The Slayer nodded, understanding the request, and went up the stairs, moving to stand at Tara's side, leaving Willow to complete the group. Making sure she had the witch's gaze, she lifted her carefully and moved her down the stairs. Tara tensed, but didn't say anything, and Buffy deposited her carefully on the couch. Willow rushed to her side.

"Thanks," she offered softly, allowing Tara to burrow into her side and reaffirm her safety. The officers were both slack-jawed, but they said nothing. It only went further towards convincing Buffy that everyone in Sunnydale was willfully blind. After all, no one could be that blind by accident, could they?

Dawn made her way down the stairs just then, and Buffy grabbed her keys and coat. "We're gonna clear out for a while, okay?" she asked in the direction of the Wiccas, and Willow nodded. "I don't know what time we'll be back."

With that, the elder Summers walked through the door Dawn had opened, and pulled it shut behind her. There was a brief _snick_ of a key in the lock, then a car engine started and they drove away.

The officers settled on the couch across from the girls, and the woman pulled out a pen and pad of paper. "I know this is going to be painful, and they're all questions you've probably answered before, but we really need to know, okay?" She kept her tone gentle and unthreatening as she addressed Tara. The witch nodded nervously.

"First of all, can I have your names and birthdates, please?"

"T-tara Maclay. October 16, 1980."

"Willow Rosenberg. July 3, 1982."

"And your relationship to Miss Maclay is?"

"Private." Willow didn't really know how to answer the question, seeing as she and Tara weren't technically together, but after last night, she was really confused as to what they were.

"Sh-she's my girlfriend." Tara spoke with surprisingly confidence, and Willow looked over at her, smiling despite the situation. Tara returned it for a moment, before turning back to the police officer.

"Do you both live here?"

"W-we used to. I-I moved out a few months ago. B-back to the dorms."

"And Miss Rosenberg stayed here?"

"Yeah. We were... we were having some problems," Willow answered nervously, afraid that Tara might pull away from her, but the blond witch gave no sign of doing so.

"Okay. Can you give me your account of what happened last night, Miss Maclay? Take all the time you need."

Tara stiffened a little, but she took a deep breath and bravely plunged in. "I-I was walking home, b-back to the dorms, I mean. F-from the Bronze. I w-went to meet a friend."

Willow hoped jealously that it wasn't a potential girlfriend, then smacked herself mentally. _This isn't the time to be worrying about that! And besides, Tara seems to be on board with the whole getting back together thing._

"I-I saw a cat in the alley. It was all bedraggled and wet, and it was meowing at me."

Willow smiled at the mental image. It was just like Tara to wander into an alley at eleven at night to rescue a cat.

"It l-let me come and pet it, and it was purring, and then something startled it and it ran off, and I turned around to look, and h-he hit me across the face." Tears started running down her face now, and she when she tried to speak, she was obviously choked up. "H-he pushed me up against the wall and punched m-me in the side." She motioned to her bruised ribs. I c-couldn't breathe, and he knocked me down."

Her breath was hitching by now, and her grip on Willow's hand was so tight that the witch knew she'd be bruised later. She really didn't care.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy parked the car competently, if not particularly neatly, outside the Espresso Pump and followed Dawn inside. The teenager headed for the line, and Buffy went to the counter. Turning her pocket inside-out, she dumped all the money that was in their little miscellaneous-fund onto the tile. Carefully, she counted it.

"How much?" Dawn asked, as the Slayer returned to her sister's side.

"Eleven-fifty. Two mochas makes it five-fifty. So, bagels?"

Dawn nodded. "Yeah. Okay." They stood silently in line, waiting for their turn to order.

Once they'd gotten their food and ensconced themselves at a little table in the back, Buffy pulled out the heavy subjects. "Dawn, do you think you might want to talk to someone?"

"Like, a shrink?"

Buffy nodded, and swallowed a bite of bagel. "I know in the past, the traumas we've had haven't been very shrink-able. But now... well, this is something you could discuss with a doctor." She took a sip of her mocha. "You just seem pretty affected by it."

Dawn sounded almost angry as she responded, but Buffy could detect the distinct undertones of frustration and confusion. "How the hell else am I supposed to be?!"

The Slayer raised her hands in a gesture of peace. "It wasn't an accusation. It affected all of us." She paused. "And you don't have to, if you don't want to. It's just that we've all been through so much, and there's so much you can't talk about, that I thought maybe since you can talk about this, you'd want to."

Dawn softened. "I don't know. Give me a few days, okay?"

Buffy nodded. "Okay." She glanced down at her watch. "And on that note, I need to call the school and tell them we're not coming. Unless you want to?" She glanced over at her sister.

Dawn shook her head. "No. Please."

"Alright. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" She headed to the payphones in the corner of the shop.

After she called the school and told them both she and Dawn were gone because of a family emergency, she returned to the table and looked at her watch again. Not nearly late enough to return to the Summers home. "So," she said. "What do you want to do now?"

Dawn laid her head down on her arms, crossed over each other on the table. "Sleep."

Buffy frowned. "I'm not sure where we can go."

"Xander's?"

"He doesn't know what's going on. And-"

"It's Tara's story to tell, I know." She paused, then looked up. "We could go to her dorm. She's at our house, and I know she wouldn't mind."

"Can you get in?" Buffy asked. "Don't they have a check-in desk or something?"

Dawn nodded. "Yeah. But you can put people on your 'okay' lists, and you and I are on hers. And I know where she hides her spare key."

The Slayer shrugged. "Yeah. Okay. I know Tara wouldn't mind, so we can go there, if you want." She yawned. "We could both use some more sleep."

Dawn's voice was bitter as she answered. "Well, it helps not to be up until five in the fucking morning."

Buffy didn't bother to reprimand her. She felt exactly the same way.

~~~~~~~~~~

"And then Miss Summers pulled him off of you?"

Tara nodded. "And th-then I passed out," she said, somewhat sheepishly. "I didn't wake up again until I was in th-the ambulance."

The officers nodded, and then turned to ask Willow her statement. It was pretty much aligned with Tara's version of the events, except that she knew what had occurred during the time when her lover was unconscious. The whole thing was over pretty quickly.

Both officers stood and the woman made a few more notes in her notebook, then flipped it closed. "Thank you both, very much. I know this is very painful, but hopefully we have enough to put him away for a very long time."

Both girls nodded, and Willow rose to show them to the door. When she returned, Tara was curled in on herself, sobbing.

The redheaded witch's first instinct was to ask lots of questions-- after all, that was how Willow dealt with crises. Find out what's going on first, then maybe you can fix it. But she knew that questions would do no good and possibly harm to her lover's mental state at the moment, so she just sat down gently next to her and offered her presence.

Tara moved instantly so that she was cradled in Willow's arms as much as possible, and buried her face in her lover's chest. They sat there silently for long moments as Willow did her best to stay silent and just be there for her, and Tara sobbed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The front desk had let them in without any problems, the young woman manning it even saying hello and smiling at Dawn. The teenager had done her best to smile back and act nonchalant-- she didn't want to answer any questions about Tara when she couldn't really give an answer.

They walked slowly upstairs and ended up in front of the witch's door. Buffy frowned, not seeing any place that could be hiding a key. "Dawn-" she started, then cut off abruptly as she looked back at her sister.

Dawn had lined her hand up with the doorknob and then run her fingers out. _Six inches out, a foot up_, she reminded herself. Feeling around the wall, she located the key and grabbed it, pulling it away from the hook. Buffy looked on, astonished.

Dawn grinned. "Tara put a glamour on it," she explained. "No one who's not a witch can see it, and she said a witch could unlock the door with magick anyway." She slipped the key into the lock and turned, then felt around for the hook in the wall. When she put the key back on it, it shimmered, then vanished.

The Slayer shook her head. "Neat trick," she admitted. "When'd she do it?"

Dawn closed the door behind her sister and locked it. "When she moved in. She said she only told me about it. I think she told Spike about it, too, though."

"Spike?" Buffy frowned, moving to lie down on the bed. "Why would she tell Spike?"

Dawn shrugged, feeling uncomfortable and uncertain how and how _much_ to explain to Buffy what things were like when she was dead. "He was around a lot last summer. We all got to know each other better. She likes him."

Buffy snorted at the idea of anyone liking Spike, but didn't say anything. The vampire was safely leashed by his chip, and as much as she didn't approve of Tara keeping company with him, it wasn't her place to tell the witch that, much less tell _Dawn_ she thought that.

The teenager sat down on the side of the bed and yanked off her boots, then lay back in the Slayer's embrace. Buffy pulled her close and Dawn didn't resist, allowing herself the comfort of her sister's arms. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, and Buffy followed.

It was nearly two hours later when the Slayer awoke again. Slowly allowing herself to drift out of sleep, she took in the room and the still-sleeping Dawn she held. Moving her sister carefully, she pulled away and padded over to the phone, then called the Summers' house, hoping she wasn't interrupting anything.

It took five rings for Willow to get to the phone, and Buffy was just about to hang up, figuring the Wiccas were sleeping or something, when she finally did. "Hello?"

"Will? It's me. I was wondering if we should stay away a little longer, or if we should come home."

Willow sounded tired. "You can come home, if you like. I never meant for you to have to leave your own house."

"We don't mind, I promise. You needed the privacy for that interview. So tell me, honestly, no more worrying about whose house it is, should we stay away?"

The witch sighed. "That would be really great, Buffy," she admitted. "Can you manage it?"

"Sure. No prob. We'll be back in the morning?"

The Slayer could hear the frown in her best friend's voice. "Where are you going to stay?"

"We're at Tara's place," Buffy explained. "Dawn was exhausted, wanted to crash, so we came here. Will she mind if we spend the night?"

"Nope. And thanks, Buffy."

"Sure. We'll see you in the morning." She hung up the phone.

Dawn turned over on the bed and awoke slightly when she didn't find her sister's presence next to her. "Buffy?"

"Right here." The Slayer watched as her sister's eyes open blearily. "I woke up, and I was calling home."

Dawn nodded. "When are we going back?"

"Not til tomorrow morning. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah. Sure. You get the floor," she teased.

Buffy smiled. "Sorry, kid, you're gonna have to put up with sharing."

"Oh, alright." Dawn sighed mockingly. "If I have to." She paused and sat up, looking a little more awake. "What are we going to do with the rest of the day?"

Buffy glanced at her watch. "It's ten-fifteen. Guess we could do pretty much anything."

"Will you take me to train at the Magic Box?"

Buffy thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Sure." She grabbed the jackets they'd brought and opened the door. "Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~

Willow had been forced from the couch by the phone, afraid it might be Buffy and that she'd worry if no one picked up. When she returned, she found Tara drying her eyes, and the witch motioned for her to sit down. Willow did, but Tara wouldn't meet her eyes.

"You want to talk about it?"

Tara shook her head, and Willow reached out for her. The blond welcomed the witch's embrace without complaint, but she didn't speak. 

"Baby, it might be better if you do." She didn't want to push, but she could figure out what to say! She needed to know what was on her lover's mind.

Tara looked away. "I j-just feel so weak," she admitted. "He d-didn't have a knife or a gun or anything, and I couldn't fight him off." Tears fell silently from her eyes.

Willow held her closer, careful of the bruised ribs. "Didn't you say he hit you as soon as you turned around?"

She nodded. "I c-couldn't breathe." Choking back a sob, she haltingly continued, burying her face in Willow's shoulder. "It was awful, Will! I couldn't cast."

The redhead stroked her hair gently. "And that's what you're worried about, isn't it?"

Tara shakily nodded into her lover's shoulder.

"Baby, it's hard to cast without words. And it's even harder to cast when you're terrified. There's nothing wrong with you because you couldn't use a spell."

Willow urged her lover to sit up a little and look her in the eye. "Baby, remember all those pamphlets and lectures and stuff about how so many women who are attacked feel like it's their fault?"

Tara nodded.

"Well, you don't have to be one of those, okay? Because it definitely wasn't your fault. Be mad at him, be really, really angry at him, okay? I know I am. But you don't have to feel guilty or upset with yourself, because you couldn't have done anything else."

Fresh out of tears, Tara's body shook, but she didn't cry, and Willow pulled her close again. "I'm so, so sorry, Baby," she murmured. "This should never happen to anyone." _And especially not you,_ she thought silently. _Not the most beautiful, kind, gentle person I've ever known._

~~~~~~~~~~~

Unexpectedly, Buffy and Dawn found Xander in the Magic Box. Sitting as far as he possibly could away from Anya and the register, he nonetheless was there. When they came in and the little bell on the door rang, he jumped up, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

Buffy filled instantly with dread at the idea of lying to Xander, but she couldn't tell him about this. It wasn't her place. Maybe, she prayed, maybe he didn't know anything, he was just arbitrarily worried. "What do you mean?"

Xander looked pissed off as soon as she said that, and she instantly regretted it. "Don't shove me away, Buffy. I know something's going on. I called your house, and Willow picked it up on about the fiftieth ring, and there was someone crying in the background. I came here because everyone comes here in a crisis."

Buffy sighed. "Xand, I can't tell you."

He pulled away, hurt. "Why?"

"Because it's not my story to tell." She wished her silence didn't hurt him this way. "I promise, if it was, I would tell you, but it's not." She pleaded with her eyes for him to understand.

"Is someone hurt?" He asked. "At least tell me that much, please?"  
"Willow's fine."

"And Tara?" Buffy looked away.

"God, Tara's hurt?" Buffy looked into his eyes and couldn't not answer him. Slowly, she nodded.

"Is she okay?"

Buffy averted her eyes again. "Physically, she'll be fine."

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

The Slayer felt a tear of frustration entering her eye. "I can't, okay?! I promised. You'll have to ask her. I wish I could tell you, but I can't!"

Xander's eyes went surprisingly tender, and he pulled Buffy to him and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask you to betray Tara's trust, I was just worried."

Buffy nodded. "I know." She hadn't known that Xander was so close to Tara, that he'd be this worried. She supposed it shouldn't surprise her so much anymore, though. Everyone was a little closer since she'd died and come back, even if she was only just finding out now.

Dawn stood up from the chair where she'd been waiting for Buffy to finish talking. "Can we go train now?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah." She glanced at Xander. He waved her attention away.

"I'm just gonna go over to your house and check on them."

The Slayer stopped in her tracks. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

Throwing up his defensive mental shield, Xander's face closed in hurt again. "Why?"

"I just don't think she's in a good place to see... you right now."

"But it's okay for her to see you?"

Buffy tried to backtrack. "Actually, we're staying away from the house right now, too. That's why we're here."

Slightly mollified, Xander nodded. "Okay. But I want to see her."

Hoping Tara wasn't going to kill her, the Slayer agreed. "Okay. Later."

Reluctantly, he sat back down as Buffy and Dawn headed off for the training room.

~~~~~~~~~~

A thorough workout for Dawn, lunch, homework and more training of her sister later, Buffy was feeling annoyed and hyper-active. Sparring with Dawn was an exercise in frustration for her. She had to pull all of her punches and kicks and she couldn't use the speed she was gifted with, but at the same time, she got warmed up enough to really want to go at it.

She called a break and then looked out the window. "It's gonna be dark in another hour or so," she said. "How about we get some pizza for dinner and I'll take you back to Tara's room."

Dawn shrugged. "Sure. You're gonna go patrolling?"

"Yeah." She smiled wryly. "Need to work off a little excess energy."

"Okay." Quickly, the teenager retreated and changed back into her street clothes, and Buffy grabbed their jackets. They said good-bye to Xander and Anya, still on opposite sides of the room, and left.

One stop and a long wait at the pizza place later, Buffy had Dawn back in Tara's room with several books and the witch's computer. "I'll be back by midnight," she promised. "Unless I run into something especially nasty. In which case, you'll see me when I'm done."

Used to the drill by now, Dawn nodded. "Kay. See you later."

Buffy frowned at her. "I hope I _don't_ see you later, Miss. We have to be at school in the morning, and we have to get up extra early to go home and change and get our things first."

"So I'd better be in bed by the time you get back," Dawn recited, and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Now go out and kick some demon ass, I'll see you in the morning."

Buffy smiled, kissed the top of her baby sister's head, and left.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Summers girls went back to school the next day, and Willow stayed home again with Tara. The witch protested, but Willow insisted. She called a friend and they agreed to bring over her schoolwork for as long as she was out of school. Slightly mollified and knowing she wouldn't win, Tara gave up on her argument.

Xander came over on the third day after the witch had left the hospital. When the doorbell rang, Willow rose from her position on the couch to answer it.

"Xander!"

He smiled. "I heard Tara ran into some trouble. Buffy told me you guys needed some time, but I couldn't stay away any longer."

Willow hesitated, unsure about how her lover would react to Xander's presence, but she also knew Tara would want to see him. "Come in," she finally decided, and he followed her into the living room.

As had become the norm, Tara was curled up in the corner of the couch doing her schoolwork, which she'd insisted on having brought to her, also. Willow had wanted her to rest, but she'd said she needed something to occupy her mind, so she was having her homework brought over, too. She was dressed in an old, fluffy bathrobe, and she started, then smiled nervously as Xander walked in the door.

"H-hello."

The stuttering that he hadn't heard in he couldn't remember how long had him frowning instantly, but he tried to erase it for the witch's sake. "Hey, Tar." He went over to hug her, and she recoiled as though he were a poisonous snake. Instantly, he moved away, hurt and a little confused. "Tara?"

Tara looked down at her lap. "I'm s-sorry."

He smiled, trying to reassure her it was alright. "Hey, don't be sorry. It's fine. But I think maybe I need to know what happened here, huh?"

Glancing at her lover to see if she agreed, Willow nodded. Tara raised her eyes. "I think s-so," she replied to the redhead's unasked question.

"Do you want to, or should I?" Willow asked gently.

Tara shook her head. "You."

Willow took a deep breath, and faced Xander, determined to do this fast and as painlessly for Tara as possible. "Seen the paper, Xand?"

He nodded, unsure where this was going. "Yeah."

"Day before yesterday's?"

"Yeah."

"Remember 'UC Sunnydale student, an alley near the Bronze'..." she waited, and watched as it clicked in her friend's head, and he sat back hard.

"Oh God." His eyes searched out Tara instantly. "That was you?"

She nodded quickly. "B-buffy and Willow came, but..." she let it trail off.

"Oh God." He remembered the aborted attempt at a hug earlier. "I'm sorry. About the hug-thing."

Tara shook her head. "Not your f-fault. I'm just kind of j-jittery around men, still." She was better with Buffy and Dawn now, though still uncertain, but she hadn't been around a man since the night at the hospital.

"Want me to get out of here?" Xander offered instantly.

She shook her head. "No. Pl-please stay. Just..." she gestured in his direction.

"Stay over here," he finished, and she nodded gratefully. "No problem."

Willow got up and headed for the kitchen. "Want something to drink?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Thanks, I'm good, Will." He nodded at the schoolwork in Tara's lap. "How goes the studying?"

She smiled tentatively. "Okay. I had a friend bring me the homework, and I understand most of it, but there's some of it that I'm not getting without the lecture..."

~~~~~~~~~

It was six days after Tara had come home when the side of Buffy's cubicle was knocked on and Dawn was dragged in by the backpack straps, looking sullen and cradling her right hand. Buffy stood. "What's going on?"

The teacher who was holding Dawn's backpack strap dragged another kid from behind the partition, a teenage guy who looked cocky and unconcerned with his plight, sporting a growing bruise across his right cheekbone. "Miss Summers decked Mr. Matthews, in the middle of a group project, I might add." She pushed them into the seats in front of Buffy and let go of their backpacks. "I can leave them with you, I presume?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. I'll take care of this. Thanks."

"Good." The teacher turned on her heel and disappeared.

Buffy looked from her sister to the guy she'd decked and then back. "Dawn, want to tell me why you felt the need for you fist to become acquainted with Mr. Matthews' face?"

"He started it."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Very mature. Mr. Matthews, would you like to tell me what you did before my sister decked you?"

He shrugged, all arrogance. "Nothing."

"That's not true!" Dawn burst out. "He's an incredible, mold-brained, monstrous _ass_ and I hope his face gets shredded by a Viloff demon!"

A few heads turned in other cubicles, and Buffy gave them a strained smile. They turned away, and she turned back to her sister. "Dawn, keep it down. More quietly, would you like to tell me _why_ you think he deserves that?"

She gave the guy a murderous glare and turned back to her sister. "He said that Cynthia wasn't putting out, so maybe he should 'help her along.'" Her voice was deadly quiet.

"Hey, I wouldn't really do anything!" The kid protested.

Buffy sighed, and rested her face in both hands briefly. "Whoa. Well, I think this is beyond my jurisdiction." She moved around the desk and grabbed the backpack straps the same way their teacher had, then dragged them both into Principal Wood's office.

After having heard what had happened, the principal steepled his hands together and put his chin on them. "This is a very serious charge, Miss Summers. Are you sure that's what he said?"

Dawn's gaze was unblinking. "I'm sure."

"He admitted it," Buffy reminded him, and he nodded.

"Mr. Matthews, I'm sure you didn't mean it, but just the same, you are suspended. Three days. Go wait in the lobby, I'll call your parents when I'm through." For a moment, the boy looked like he was going to protest, then saw the combined gazes of the Summers sisters on him and closed him mouth. He disappeared.

As the door closed, Principal Wood turned back to Dawn. "Well, what are we going to do with you, huh?" She didn't reply, and Buffy stepped in.

"I totally agree that she shouldn't have hit that guy." Buffy paused, and the principal waited, sensing she wasn't finished. The Slayer took a deep breath. "But I think it hit a little too close to home for her."

He turned his gaze to Buffy. "How so?"

She sighed. "Six days ago, a friend of ours was raped. Dawn is very close to her."

Dawn's tone was murderous. "_Nobody_ is going to do that to a friend of mine again."

"I see." The principal looked thoughtful. "That's an admirable goal. Unfortunately, punching crass-mouthed teenage boys isn't going to achieve it."

"He was threatening to rape Cynthia!"

The principal shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. He'll be put in counseling as part of his conditional return to school next week. It still wasn't necessary to deck him, Miss Summers."

"He got suspended, didn't he?"

"You could have simply told someone what he said."

"They wouldn't have listened."

Principal Wood sighed. "You're right. It's unfortunate, but they might not have. Still, it wasn't your place to try and deal with this. Especially not with violence." Dawn didn't respond, and he put his hands back together in a steeple. "Two weeks detention. And a warning. If you hit anyone again, you'll get detention _and_ you will be suspended."

Buffy nodded and Dawn sat staring sullenly at the desk. "Thank you. We'll just be going to have a little talk, if we're done here?" The Principal nodded and Buffy pulled Dawn out of her chair and from the room.

Deciding they were going to need some privacy, Buffy pulled Dawn into an empty classroom. She pushed the door shut behind her. "What were you thinking?"

"That he needed to be punched." Dawn's voice was still dark with rage.

Buffy sighed. "You said nobody would have listened. You could have come and told me."

Dawn met her sister's eyes head-on. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I got in trouble. But I'm not sorry I punched him. He needed to be punched. People like him are scum."

The Slayer heaved another long-suffering sigh. "Yeah. They are. And he probably did. But you don't need to get in trouble. You've had enough school-related trouble, Dawn."

"Okay. Can I go back to class now?"

"Yeah." Buffy watched as Dawn picked up her backpack and strode out the door, her back held high, her figure proud, and she sighed again. Her sister was constantly getting in trouble because she couldn't seem to keep her opinions to herself. But just the same, Buffy was proud of her, because she stood up for what she believed in. "Don't punch anybody else!" She called as Dawn disappeared around a corner.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Three days later, Willow drove Tara to get her stitches out. Physically, the witch was almost healed. Mentally, she would carry the scars forever, and Willow ached to kill the man who had violated her so badly and left her with such pain.

She had no doubt that she could. And get away with it, too. The police wouldn't dig too deeply into anything that looked like magick. She'd offered, several times. Every time, though, Tara had reminded her how that would sully her soul with dark magick she could never get rid of. The third time, Willow had almost done it anyway until Tara reminded her how she'd left before because she couldn't be with someone that was using such dark magicks.

She wanted the man dead, but she wanted Tara in her life more.

So far, they'd put off the relationship talk. Tara had been too fragile at first, and now Willow was waiting for her to bring it up. It was she that needed forgiving, after all, she that needed Tara to decide if she could be with her. Willow had never wanted to be apart from her lover, and there was no question in her mind, never had been, that if Tara wanted it, Willow would take her back.

As they pulled up to the Summers home, Tara pulled herself out of the car and walked to the door herself, such a simple action that Willow delighted in seeing her do. The stutter was leaving again, too, around the people she knew at least. It had been all too evident at the doctor's office around strangers, but at home, it was slowly disappearing.

They found the house empty when they walked inside. Tara settled on the couch, Willow next to her, and the blond picked up the redhead's schoolwork. "When are you going back to school?" She asked.

"When you are."

Tara's face clouded, and Willow reached out to gently caress her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"It's just that... I'm not sure if I am going back."

Willow's face registered her surprise. "You're not going back?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why?"

Tara looked down. "I'm just not sure I can deal with that many p-people. It was already hard, you know? And now..."

Willow hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Are you sure? Because if you are, then I'll support you. But I think you'll be all sad later if you don't go back." She paused.   
"I don't mean you have to go back right away. But eventually."

Tara smiled at Willow. "I'll think about it."

"I could cancel my classes and go with you to yours, you know. Just until you're more comfortable. Would that make it better?"

Tara leaned over and kissed Willow quickly and softly. "Maybe. But anyway, I'm not ready now. So it can wait."

"Okay." Willow snuggled Tara close to her, and they sat there, cuddling, for a long time.

Finally, the question Willow had been dying to ask, but hadn't dared to, came out. "Is this for good?"

"Us?" Tara understood instantly, and Willow nodded. "I don't know."

The witch's heart fell, but she at least appreciated the honest answer. "Why?"

Tara's eyes shone with unshed tears. "I need you around. Goddess knows I love you with all my heart. But you betrayed all that I stand for by using dark magick."

Willow ducked her head away, but Tara pulled it back. "But then," she continued softly, "you didn't do it when I was hurt. So maybe you really can learn to stop."

"I did." Willow looked away.

"Did what?"

"Use magick when you were hurt."

Tara didn't judge immediately, keeping her tone even as she queried. "How?"

"A protection spell." Willow looked angry with herself. "That obviously didn't work."

Tara was about to speak, but Willow continued. "And to run. To you. I couldn't go that fast, without pulling on magick."

Stroking her lover's hair, Tara relaxed. "What were you thinking about when you used those magicks?" She asked gently.

"You."

The blond witch smiled. "See?" Willow looked confused, and Tara explained. "Magick isn't black and white, Will. It's how you use it. And magick used to help other people is most definitely good magick."

Willow still looked ashamed. "There's something else."

"What?"

"When he... when he hurt you, I felt it."

"Oh God, Will, I'm sorry."

Willow looked up at her lover. "What? No! That's not what I meant. What I meant was... I would have used magick on him if I wasn't doubled over in pain." She looked away.

"But you didn't."

Willow looked up, surprised. "So you're not mad?"

"I'm not mad. And Willow, I think your protection spell did work. I'm still here, aren't I?"

She nodded, tears in her eyes at the idea of Tara being gone forever. "I couldn't live without you."

"Yes you could." Tara's voice was firm and confident, and Willow looked up in surprise. "But if you can work through this, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never have to."

"Where does that leave us now, though?"

Tara shrugged. "On a doorstep. We're just outside dark magick and we're together, but if you go back inside, I can't follow. If you can move further away from it, though, we can be together."

"So we're gonna try?" Willow's eyes were full of hope and worry, and Tara smiled softly.

"We're gonna try."

* * *

Back to _A Little Part of the Buffiverse_

Back to _A Little Part of the Buffiverse_ Fanfiction


End file.
